Helping teens with problems

Teenagers dealing with their problems is the subject of countless stories throughout history, from Romeo and Juliet trying to balance family loyalty with hormones to Emma Swan trying to decide weather it’s better to date a werewolf or a vampire. These kids probably would’ve had an easier time with their conflicts if they had brought their parents in on the ground level rather than keeping them in the dark before it was too late to help. Before a kid ends up dating a member of the living dead, or in more real terms try drugs, how can parents help their adolescents with their problems?

1: Be aware of the issues.

Parents can sometimes think that their teens are dealing with the same problems they dealt with when they were kids. While this can be true, a lot of problems teens deal with today are issues that their parents would’ve never imagined when they were 15. Parents need to pay attention to the issues of the day from a variety of sources, not just biased scaremongering tactics from sources with an agenda. Find out what real kids are dealing with, from real kids if you need to, and be aware as to how serious they are. One example is internet bullying. While bullying is also nothing new, doing it online has become a serious problem in the past decade and has lead to teen depression, harassment and suicide. Being aware of what cyber bullying is and what to do if their child is a victim or a perpetrator is something every parent should be aware of long before they are brought into a principal’s office.

2: Don’t take it personally

As kids learn to control their emotions as well as understand themselves and the world, they could easily say or do things that could hurt the feelings of anyone, especially a well-meaning parent. All parents of teens need to have a thick skin to take such comments. Letting emotions take over will only make any situation far worse, especially to a teenager who biologically doesn’t have complete control of their emotional spectrum. Teens screaming “I hate you!” should be taken as seriously as a toddler who says they want to marry Bugs Bunny when they grow up.

3: If something is wrong, don’t panic.

When a teenager does do something they shouldn’t, the worst thing a parent can do is overreact. If the parent gets out of control, then all it does is add one more problem to an already bad situation. The best parents are the ones who can calmly walk into a situation, weather that’s in a hospital, a principal’s office or a jail cell, deal with the problem in an intelligent and controlled manner, then walk back out of the situation in the same manner. The parents who come in screaming at their child or administration will quickly put everyone on defense, meaning that any action taken won’t be due to helping the child through a difficult time but is an attempt to get the screaming person to calm down. This may sound simple, even silly, to have to address remaining calm, but it can be extremely easy to lose cool after a sleepless night of not knowing where the teenager is or hearing the news that the child a parent loves and raised has been found in possession of drugs.

If a parent wants to help their child in any problem the best course of action is to generally remain calm and do what is best for the child, not what’s best for the parent. Knowing the facts, not taking any of the situation on, and remaining calm can quickly deescalate any problem as well as let the child know that they have a safe place to go when they have a problem.

Reflection

This paper was especially meaningful to me since I grew up in a home with a brother who had disciplinary issues. Most of my suggestions came from what my own parents did to handle him, what I saw work and what I saw didn’t work, so I used him as an uncredited example in the piece.

I liked how the assignment asked me what I thought should be done instead of having me recite with experts say you should do. This personalizes the assignments sin the class and allows me to think about what my own feelings and opinions are, not just how to best parrot another’s opinions.